My word!

It would be easy for me to think that there are really only two stages to the writing process and that all the writing I do could be broken down into one of these two stages: Writing and Not-Writing. Or rather, first Not-Writing, and THEN Writing.

Two days ago, Not-Writing looked something like this: Take the dog for a walk…I wonder what kept George from getting drafted?…complete a translation job…how spacey can I actually make Clover?…finish off a really good novel (and cry)…Leo definitely needs a new hair arrangement...find out that (once again) we did NOT sell our house...can you still legally change your name to Moonbeam?…

You get the picture. From the outside, it looked like a pretty normal day. From the inside, Not-Writing ruled.

Yesterday, I would have liked to stay home and write, but instead Will and I set off in the morning for the vet to have stitches removed from the dog, then head for a market fair in a nearby town to buy a birthday gift for someone I love. In the midst of all that, we had lunch at a café close to the sea, where lots of folks from different parts of Europe tend to vacation. We had fun and a lovely meal, plus I had the bonus of seeing three very intriguing people who triggered all sorts of story ideas in my mind. This is also what Not-Writing looks like: thinking of George and his flat feet while waiting for the vet to see the dog and trying to figure out how to squeeze my lunch neighbors into a work in progress.

Recent experience tells me that this Not-Writing stuff may be the bigger part of fiction writing, as it is of poetry.

However, there is yet a third stage and this is what I came up against yesterday when I finally did sit down with pen in hand. It’s called Really-Not-Writing and it looks like this:                        . Really-Not-Writing is when there’s really nothing there. No matter how hard you try to call up your characters, your lunch neighbors, or even the room in front of your face, there’s really nothing there.

I don’t know how it is for other people, but there are times when I feel the Lord tugging at me. It’s a feeling like no other. He wants me to sit down with Him and empty my heavy heart, no matter what’s in it. Yesterday, I wanted to write, but He wanted me to sit, so I sat. I sat with the Lord and He took my heavy heart where He wanted it to go, and believe me, my little writing dilemma wasn’t even on the agenda. When we were done (and I’d wiped my face, rejoiced to heaven, and sung to the dog), the words (and everything else) started coming again.

No, it’s not magic. It’s something truly wonderful that this newly re-activated Christian has only recently learned. Being a follower of Christ means I’m saved and I’m forgiven, and I can look forward to eternity with my Savior (and I do). But it doesn’t mean I get to just walk away from everything I’ve ever done that’s grievous to the Lord, and there’s been plenty of that. Becoming aware of stuff both old and new, and really dealing with it—hand in hand with God—is a process that will continue until there’s no more stuff, and it’s anyone’s guess when that will be. It’s called surrender: I let go and He sends a tsunami of grace rushing through my soul, cleansing everything it touches, and leaving me just that much higher up the mountain, in thinner air and in brighter sun.

If I believed that my life revolved around art, I might think that all of this happened for the sake of my writing. But I don’t. All this happens because it must. I can’t be with God without it. Repentance glorifies Him, and everything that glorifies Him benefits me. That’s how He set it up. It’s no wonder the words start pouring forth once the pipes are clear.

I announced I was “Following Christ and learning to write (in that order),” and it is a fact that only when I do things in that order do the words come. He takes me at my word and gives me His.

By the way, the dog is fine.

Comments

[Victoria on Okinawa]

Oh Durga this is so true!!!
I have the same process of late but I've gotten things out of order: doing art then time with the Lord, and I have shortchanged the Lord more often than not, therefore repentance and forgiveness has been going on over here too. Thank God for His grace and graciousness. You write it so clearly what I can not write. Thank you for this. I plan to print it up and set it up where I will read it regularly to help me refocus Who is first.

I'm curious what all brought about your redirection toward Christ to begin with? I really am reading an about face change in your writing from a few months ago even in the last few weeks, it amazes me how God does all this, if you are not ready to share what I have asked I understand, just know I am sincerely curious.

Care in Jesus, Victoria on Okinawa<><>